The sublime & the ridiculous

From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step.--Napoleon I

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"Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, ‘Another romantic comedy?’ You see her in something like Walk the Line and think, ‘God, you’re so great!’ And then you think, ‘Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?’ But of course, it’s for money and status."—Gwyneth Paltrow, star of the cinematic masterpieces Bounce and A View from the Top.

"Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, ‘Another romantic comedy?’ You see her in something like Walk the Line and think, ‘God, you’re so great!’ And then you think, ‘Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?’ But of course, it’s for money and status."—Gwyneth Paltrow, star of the cinematic masterpieces Bounce and A View from the Top.

(Source: celebssaythedarnedestthings)

Filed under the ridiculous gwyneth paltrow movies quotations reese witherspoon chris and gwyneth conscious uncoupling goop omg stfu

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So Bateman’s been AWOL for months until this morning, when he suddenly turns up at Pierce & Pierce like he hasn’t missed a day.
“Jesus, Bateman,” I say when I stop by to see what he has to say for himself. “You had us all scared to death. Where the hell have you been?”
“London,” he tells me. “I’ve been in London. I thought I saw Paul Allen.”
“So did you?” I ask. “See him, I mean?”
“No,” he says. “I didn’t see him. I did see this play called ‘American Psycho: The Musical,’ which had possibly the most absurd plot I’ve ever seen.”
“Right,” I say. “That’s the musical with the guy from Doctor Who. I would think that would be right up your alley.”
“Why would you think that?” he asks. “And why would you think that guy is a doctor?” he scoffs condescendingly. “He’s not even that ripped. He says he can do a thousand crunches a day, but I can do a thousand crunches a day, and he isn’t half as buff as I am.”
I start to ask Bateman why he thinks doctors have to be ripped, but it’s at this point I notice his head is bobbing a little like he’s been riding the London Eye for a couple months straight and I start to worry.  
“Bateman, what’s wrong with you?” I ask. “Did you hit your head or something?”
“Did I hit my head?” he asks, absentmindedly. “No, I didn’t hit my head,” he says, weirdly, but then again, it’s Bateman, so it’s not really that weird.
“Well, all right,” I say haltingly. “Did you like the play, at least?”
“It was no ‘Oh Africa, Brave Africa,” he tells me, straight-faced. “Now that was a laugh riot.”
Oh, well. At least Bateman’s back, I guess, and it’s Friday.
TGIF.

So Bateman’s been AWOL for months until this morning, when he suddenly turns up at Pierce & Pierce like he hasn’t missed a day.

“Jesus, Bateman,” I say when I stop by to see what he has to say for himself. “You had us all scared to death. Where the hell have you been?”

“London,” he tells me. “I’ve been in London. I thought I saw Paul Allen.”

“So did you?” I ask. “See him, I mean?”

“No,” he says. “I didn’t see him. I did see this play called ‘American Psycho: The Musical,’ which had possibly the most absurd plot I’ve ever seen.”

“Right,” I say. “That’s the musical with the guy from Doctor Who. I would think that would be right up your alley.”

“Why would you think that?” he asks. “And why would you think that guy is a doctor?” he scoffs condescendingly. “He’s not even that ripped. He says he can do a thousand crunches a day, but I can do a thousand crunches a day, and he isn’t half as buff as I am.”

I start to ask Bateman why he thinks doctors have to be ripped, but it’s at this point I notice his head is bobbing a little like he’s been riding the London Eye for a couple months straight and I start to worry. 

“Bateman, what’s wrong with you?” I ask. “Did you hit your head or something?”

“Did I hit my head?” he asks, absentmindedly. “No, I didn’t hit my head,” he says, weirdly, but then again, it’s Bateman, so it’s not really that weird.

“Well, all right,” I say haltingly. “Did you like the play, at least?”

“It was no ‘Oh Africa, Brave Africa,” he tells me, straight-faced. “Now that was a laugh riot.”

Oh, well. At least Bateman’s back, I guess, and it’s Friday.

TGIF.

Filed under the sublime movies american psycho patrick bateman christian bale american psycho the musical doctor who matt smith tgif

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For some reason, Bateman is fairly obsessed with fonts and typefaces, paper thicknesses and printing, so I see a photo of this billboard online and think it’ll be funny to send it to him—y’know, for shits and giggles.
What I don’t expect is Bateman’s reaction. He has Jean book him on the first flight to London (first-class, of course), call his tailor to have several changes of clothes delivered, and then he promptly breaks out in a weird cold sweat.
"Calm down, Bateman," I say, laughing. "It’s a joke. I thought you’d like it.”
"It’s not a joke," he says, drawing out the words like they’re hurting his face. "It’s Allen."
"Don’t be ridiculous," I tell him. "I thought you said you weren’t even sure Allen was really in London.”
He gives me a look like I’ve just informed him the Earth is flat and tells me, “I’m never sure of anything,” and walks out.
Typical Bateman. But whatever. You win, most awesome billboard ever.
Now I have to return some videotapes.

For some reason, Bateman is fairly obsessed with fonts and typefaces, paper thicknesses and printing, so I see a photo of this billboard online and think it’ll be funny to send it to him—y’know, for shits and giggles.

What I don’t expect is Bateman’s reaction. He has Jean book him on the first flight to London (first-class, of course), call his tailor to have several changes of clothes delivered, and then he promptly breaks out in a weird cold sweat.

"Calm down, Bateman," I say, laughing. "It’s a joke. I thought you’d like it.”

"It’s not a joke," he says, drawing out the words like they’re hurting his face. "It’s Allen."

"Don’t be ridiculous," I tell him. "I thought you said you weren’t even sure Allen was really in London.”

He gives me a look like I’ve just informed him the Earth is flat and tells me, “I’m never sure of anything,” and walks out.

Typical Bateman. But whatever. You win, most awesome billboard ever.

Now I have to return some videotapes.

Filed under the sublime patrick bateman american psycho billboards business cards signs england movies awesomeness

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So Bateman and I are having an early brunch at Espace when I casually ask him if he’s heard Ben Affleck’s been cast as the new Batman.
“Daredevil?” Bateman asks, and he’s silent for a split-second before he starts laughing. He’s laughing so hard, in fact, he can’t even finish eating. He’s so distracted he doesn’t even use his black AmEx—which he always makes a big show of using—he just tosses down a wad of cash without counting it, and walks out still laughing, and, I swear, crying just a little.
Huh. I guess Bateman’s not a big Affleck fan or something.
TGIF!

So Bateman and I are having an early brunch at Espace when I casually ask him if he’s heard Ben Affleck’s been cast as the new Batman.

Daredevil?” Bateman asks, and he’s silent for a split-second before he starts laughing. He’s laughing so hard, in fact, he can’t even finish eating. He’s so distracted he doesn’t even use his black AmEx—which he always makes a big show of using—he just tosses down a wad of cash without counting it, and walks out still laughing, and, I swear, crying just a little.

Huh. I guess Bateman’s not a big Affleck fan or something.

TGIF!

Filed under the sublime american psycho patrick bateman christian bale batman the dark knight ben affleck ben affleck cast as batman wtf tgif